Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Rod Blagojevich Should Have Been a TV Evangelist

Rod Blagojevich should have been a TV Evangelist, only he wouldn't be getting a 4-star rating on digg like Bayless Conley. He's full of infamous "not guilty" pop-psyche twaddle and homilies.

The Reverend Alberto VO5 is charged with attempting to sell/auction off Obama's vacant Senate seat, conspiring to extort money from vendors bidding on state business, and plotting to flex the muscle of the Illinois Governor's Office to intimidate the Chicago Tribune enough to fire reporters calling for his impeachment.

No one knows if the seat was up for auction on eBay.

My friends at Mama Mia's in South Philadelphia are making book as to how long it will take Rod to find Jesus.

"Hey, Rosa, maybe he be reincarnated froma dat guy, Sam Kinison. Ya know, da one who used to know Jesus, but got rich. Disa way, Rhoda get thrown in prison, get poor, looka the 4 walls, and one of da plaster holes becomma Jesus." Mrs. Giordano said.

"Yeah" added Vito. "He comma outside in Illinois and da black hand, day get him. I guessa he better finda Jesus, ya know what I mean?"

"Where did he get the hair, anyway? Asked Mrs. Giordano's granddaughter. "Is he related to Joey 'The Rug' Libertino? I don't get it, governors getting convicted on RICO charges? What did he tell his kids at the dinner table every night before he was accused, 'Have some more lobster, daddy just sold two senate seats and got a gold star, but don't tell anybody?' Tell me nobody knew! I bet ya three shots of sambuca and a St. Pauli Girl he had a lot of accomplices."

"Aspetto" Vito said, "He usa da campaign money, so no moe hair weaves froma Max Fiff Avenue. I gotta hundred dollas saysa he get 20 years."

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